How A Ballerina Danced Her Way Into Her Own Conflict

Today I’m going to write about my character, Rahjni, and how I set up a scene before I even begin typing. Rahjni is one of the twelve characters in my current work-in-progress, Sunrise. 

Choosing the setting and tone…

While I was working on Rahjni’s backstory, I had envisioned her as a professional ballerina. Multiple Sclerosis took away her ability to dance. I had to demonstrate the consequences of her illness by how she reacts to them, and  I didn’t want to get weighed down by too much backstory.   Late last week, I arrived at the scene where I had to have Rahjni deal with all the issues she’s been avoiding. The scene had to be intense and show her struggles. To keep up the pace I’ve set meant I  had to arrive at the scene goal quickly and without making it seem rushed.

Before I set out to write Rahjni’s scene, I had no idea what setting I’d be using. I had an understanding of what I wanted the scene to accomplish; Rahjni needed to uncover a hidden aspect of herself that led her to the point where the story takes place. I had to figure out her own unique way of bringing her secret to the surface. My reason for going with my intuition on making Rahjni a ballerina soon made itself clear when I envisioned telling her story via the ballet. The moment that idea entered my mind, something clicked, and I knew I was on the right track.

Now that I had a setting in mind, I set out to find the ballet that would serve as both Rahjni’s final professional role as a ballerina and also run as a parallel story to what she’s endured throughout her life. I went on the internet and studied different ballets thinking it would take hours to find the right one.  Ten minutes into my search I found the ballet that meshed perfectly with the scene goal: La Bayadère. Translated in English, it means Temple Dancer. From the moment I read the synopsis, I knew this ballet was the perfect fit for Rahjni’s conflict reveal scene. I found a youtube video of  some of the dances, specifically the Kingdom of Shades  and the death scene of Nikiya, the temple dancer.  I immediately pictured how the whole scene would play out after watching both dances, and I wrote out a quick draft. After I finished writing the scene, I loved it, but man did it go to places I never expected!

Watching two dances wasn’t enough to absorb and appreciate the whole ballet. I purchased the score performed by the London Chamber Orchestra, and the next evening I watched the complete ballet performed by the London Royal Ballet with my daughters. I paid close attention to the visuals, props, colors, costumes and music, taking notes on each aspect. I’ve also been jogging to the score to internalize the music.

For further assistance, I joined a ballet forum in hopes of finding a source where I can find what piece of music corresponds to a particular dance. I found out that it varies from ballet company to ballet company, so I opted to keep the name of the pieces out, which would of only pulled the reader out of the intense visuals I wrote into the scene.

Character development builds the story.

The middle of a story has always been the most difficult for me and is typically the last thing I write. A major aha moment for me was when I first realized it’s the character that leads to the conflict. No matter how carefully and methodically I’ve plotted a story, in almost everything I’ve written, the conflict is the most difficult for me. I need to spend a lot of time with the characters to get a sense of who they are.  Their struggles unlock the door to the conflict that should seamlessly flow into the climax of the story. When I started writing Sunrise, I knew the conflict I outlined wasn’t strong. I mused over which of the twelve characters would bring about the conflict that would push them all to the climax that I had already written. Yesterday, one of my other characters revealed the conflict, and I wrote out the scene.

After I completed Rahjni’s ballet scene,  the conflict of this particular character  revealed itself organically and had  presented me with a new thread I hadn’t expected. Now I needed to choreograph that scene and find a setting. The answer came to me while I was working out at the gym. I posed a question about what truth the conflict will reveal, and a whole other strange and surreal setting came to me in full color! I took my daughters out to lunch and then we headed over to the library where I wrote out the scene.

My last few writing sessions have been quite productive. I got out of them  the main story conflict, a character conflict, plus a character reveal scene.  I also began structuring a new story inspired by my husband.  I’m the type that prefers to have a lot of projects ready to go. It keeps me motivated.

Oh Those Battling Hemispheres!

Discomfort and inspiration come as a pair. It isn’t something writers usually talk about—at least I don’t often hear it discussed in forums or blogs I visit. Even a search through Google didn’t yield many results. What has been discussed is its link towards madness, and I’m fairly certain everyone out there who is right-brain oriented can sense this connection.

There is a level of bravery required to fully surrender to inspiration. In this realm, some crazy, wild, unexpected and unusual ideas can spring out of your mind. Sometimes what comes at you can be so intense, you’d swear someone or something is forcing you to throw away every reservation you have, and you write everything that pops into your mind. “Yes! Someone make me stop! I’m on fire!” you proclaim loudly. And then it all ends. Splat! “What just happened to me? I was so excited only a millisecond ago!” You look at your screen, highlight everything you’d just written and consider erasing it. Don’t do it!

If you learn to keep balance between creativity and self-judgement, you’ll develop that masterpiece you’ve always dreamed of. The right brain is fearless, unbeatable, unstoppable, all powerful. The left brain is wussy, over-analytical, vapid and self-defeating. But you need it to make sense of the amazing stuff your right brain produced for your story. It’s a constant battle between these two hemispheres. Each time I think I’ve built a permanent bridge between the two, a bomb blows it to pieces, and I’m forced to rebuild to keep the balance.

With my current manuscript, Sunrise, the whole concept of the story was foreign to me when I first started writing it. Between the omniscient narration and my large cast of main characters, I kept asking myself if I was nuts to put myself through all this. But now, 50,000 words in, I’m so fully engrossed in the story—and curious about how it will all end—my inspiration screams louder than my fear.

Tipping the balance in favor of inspiration.

This is what being in the zone feels like and why I love writing so much.  This realm is free from judgement, and each time you visit, it’s like your traveling to some foreign land. There’s never a dull moment there. Even as an outliner, I have no idea what my right brain is going to throw at me when I visit the zone.  The one thing I find most exciting and humbling as a writer is that structure is never permanent; it can be knocked down, and oftentimes is.  Just don’t visit the zone while driving. It can be hazardous and more distracting than talking on a cell phone!

A better bridge can be built.

If you want to write your best story, realize nothing is permanent. No character, plot device or witty phrase is too sacred to sacrifice. I find by internalizing this, I keep myself permanently open to inspiration. There is definitely a level of faith required here. Faith that inspiration will come around whenever you need it. It will, as long as you’re open to receive it.

My plotting stages of Sunrise

  • Developed the story structure
  • Developed the characters, their personalities and  arcs.
  • Laid out all the chapters and wrote summaries.
  • Story research
  • Made a timeline of the various story threads.
  • Started building the physical attributes of my story world.
  • Rearranged the chapters as the story became clearer
  • Started writing the manuscript.

 

An outline is only a skeleton.

Once you start adding the meat, new possibilities emerge. If it’s one thing I learned, the right brain isn’t a vegetarian. It likes a lot of meat, and if you’re receptive enough, you’ll be delighted to discover its appetite is limitless, and it has no understanding of writer’s block.

It can be exhausting to rework ideas, but my past experiences remind me when I pay attention to the images my right brain presents, my scenes are stronger and resonate more.  I was recently given the image of a green flame, and I had no idea what it meant. I put it into the story, and it made the scene very effective. I knew I’d eventually figure out its significance. After I wrote the scene, I found my answer, went back in and added the new information. End of chapter!

Ideas are recycled.

Because I listened to my right brain, it led to my getting rid of two characters. The first didn’t drive the plot forward, but I used some of her backstory for another character.  I had also written a minor character in the first chapter who was only supposed to usher in the inciting incident. He was so strong, he ended up replacing my original antagonist, but I used some of his backstory on the new character. I also added a gray parrot to the cast, rearranged the chapters and changed the resolution.  Now, as I passed the mid-point, I’m expecting even more changes.

Make your voice fit the story.

I consider myself a storyteller first and a writer second. I say this because I focus my writing around my story and not the other way around. I’ll make whatever adjustments are necessary to make the story work. And I’ve made quite a few all ready! This  all leads back to my blog about Donna Summer and how she explained she made her voice fit the music and not the other way around—which  would’ve made her voice sound forced and unnatural.  This philosophy can be applied to all forms of artistic expression.  It’s about the art, not the artist—at least that’s how I see it.  When I first made this subtle shift in mindset, it brought my writing to a whole new level.  I wonder if Donna Summer read the Tao Te Ching!

A Lesson About Voice From Donna Summer

The last two manuscripts I wrote were in first person, which was a new point of view for me to write in.  They had their challenges that I may blog about at a later date.  I chose omniscient point of view for my work-in-progress because I’m following several characters, and a single narrator seemed like the ideal choice to tie the individual story threads together.  I  initially planned Sunrise  as a novella—something I could write and get out quickly—but being true to myself I had to go and complicate things.  Having Unison as my guide, I didn’t worry too much as that started off as a screenplay with only two characters, and now it’s a full blown epic with a large cast and three more installments I’ve all ready outlined.  Go figure.  Anyway,  by the time I finished the outline to Sunrise, I could see it was going to be another full length book. I’m currently at 147 pages and haven’t reached the mid-point yet that I suspect will fall somewhere between 160-200 pages. I’m currently forecasting a manuscript of  roughly 400 pages—double-spaced—which makes Sunrise a pretty lean novel in comparison to my work to date.

When I chose the omniscient point of view, I asked myself:  who’s doing the narrating? This was important as I wanted to maintain a consistent voice throughout the narrative. The easiest route would’ve been for me to pick a nameless narrator—which was my first choice. Then I had to go complicate things once again by making the narrator into another character. This didn’t affect my point of view choice because my character isn’t in the story. That’s all I’ll bring up this early in the stage of my writing. Suffice it to say, this voice is challenging me in that I don’t want to pull the reader out of the story. I’m finding there’s a delicate balance between action and the narration.  Too much narration, and you pull the reader out of the story. The same goes with too little because when the narrator finally pops in after a long absence, the reader more than likely forgot he or she existed.  That’s jarring as well.  I love Kindle’s text to speech.  When I hear the narration read to me, it’s easy to hear when it’s over the top.

OMNISCIENCE TAKES A LOT OF BRAVERY TO PULL OFF

Last week I wrote the denouement.  After I’d finished, I realized it’s going to be difficult to pull off.  My first instinct was to change to  a distant third person, but that would’ve meant changing the ending that tied everything together, producing all the expected emotions.  I cried my eyes out when I wrote it—and not because I was depressed. As I freaked out over what to do about the point of view, I realized I wasn’t in my calm space.  Since writing has evolved into a spiritual exercise for me, it’s important I write as free from ego as possible.  If I’m not plugged into the light within me, I take a break, and that’s what I did.

QUESTIONS I ASKED MYSELF POST FREAKOUT

  • Is the ending really the best it can be?   Oh Yessss!  

Then we can move on to the next question...

  • Why don’t I think I can do this?  I’m afraid I’ll come off sounding too pretentious. 
  • Is it because I’m trying to pull off something trendy?    Slock no!
  • Am I good enough a writer to pull this off?  I can finally say yes.  And it took YEARS of bad writing and studying my craft  for me to get to this point, and I STILL never view any of  my work as finished.   Most writers will attest to this one.  Don’t feel  bad if you find yourself answering no.   Just ignore yourself, and  continue  writing and learning.
  • Who the hell do I think I am to even attempt this?  I could write a book on this topic alone!



WRITING IN THE RIGHT SPACE

Since the ending of Sunrise is the best it can be, I was forced to deal with  the typical writer’s insecurity. At times like this, I’m grateful I’ve been on my spiritual path long enough to realize insecurities are driven by the ego. I meditated, calmed myself down and then scolded myself for whining like a baby.  I then reminded myself that every good writer experiences moments of self-doubt  and that writing is a challenge that never ends. I knew that if I expected to continue to evolve as a writer, I couldn’t give in to my fears.  I had a crisis in everything I had written, and once I stepped away from my work, I came back stronger. Using my past successes as a guide, I’m now confident I can do this.  My reward will be having a book I’ll be proud to have written.  Anything less would be a compromise, and if I compromise that would not only leave me unsatisfied but leave the reader unsatisfied as well. They can pick up when a writer rushes through a story or takes the easy way out.  I don’t want to be that type of writer. I want my readers to trust me and know I’ll deliver the best story I’m able.

For me, writing is a humbling experience.  Each book brings with it new trials and seeing it through to the end is my reward.  There aren’t any words that can effectively describe  how it feels when I finish a book, but I call it my metaphoric climbing of Mt. Everest. The journey itself is such a thrill I’m currently journaling my writing of Sunrise  and plan to release it as a free ebook.

 

OWN IT, THEN YOU CONTROL IT

So if you find yourself at a point in your manuscript where you want to shift gears because you don’t think you’re capable of executing your idea…don’t give in to your insecurities and fears. You’ll be selling yourself short and never realize the masterpiece you gave up. Think of this part of your writing journey as a way to hone in on your weaknesses as a writer.  Ask yourself why you think you can’t do this.  Oftentimes it has something to do with a technique you’ve yet to master.  For me, it’s writing in the omniscient voice.  Rather than give up and sacrifice my story, I’m immersing myself in this technique until it feels natural.  I did the same when I wrote in first person.  By the time I finished my first book, I became the character I was narrating—which was  a surreal experience as the main character is a male!  And then I did it again with my second book!

 

LEARNING FROM DONNA SUMMER

I planned on ending this blog with the last paragraph, but serendipity struck while driving my daughters to school.  I tuned in to an old school radio station here in Oahu where the DJ was playing an interview clip of the late great Donna Summer—one of my main influences as a vocalist. Donna mentioned how she adjusted her voice to fit the music, so she wouldn’t have to turn down a song for not being in her style. I’m paraphrasing her here, but it explains why I always marveled over how Donna Summer could change the character of her voice, and it still sounded like her singing.  From I Feel Love and Sunset People to McCarthur Park and Love in Control , you hear a perfect example of her proclamation.

What can we, as writers, take from Ms. Summer’s impeccable wisdom?

Never shy away from a style of writing  because you think it’s not your style. Don’t lose out on an opportunity to expand your horizon as a writer.  Adjust yourself to fit the style, but maintain your own unique voice.  This is how I view my writing in the omniscient point of view.  I have to play by its rules, but I don’t have to give up my voice to make it work.

A Bird Flew Into My Story on Mother’s Day

This post is dedicated  to Chippy,  a new character in my novel, Sunrise.

While driving home from Mother’s Day dinner, a bird literally flew into my mind and perched there demanding I take notice.   I instantly knew he was a gray parrot and that he had to do with my story. I also knew what character was going to be associated with him. Last night I included Chippy in my writing session, and he played a vital part in the chapter I worked on. I love when flashes of inspiration hit.  It’s one of the biggest pleasures in storytelling.

My New Novel: From Start to Finish

I decided to blog about my current work in progress, Sunrise.  Writing about the joy and pain involved during the writing process sounds like a lot of fun, and I wish I  had done this with my first book, Unison, that is nearing the publication stage.  Sunrise is my third planned release. I’m aiming for December 31 2012—depending on who’s interpretation of the Mayan calendar is correct.

I would like for this blog to inspire both new writers and pros alike. It’s sometimes nice to remember we’re not alone in our neuroticism…and you’ll see a lot of that aspect of me  in future posts. What tempers this part of myself is that writing has evolved into a form of meditation for me. When I write, I connect to something that’s larger than myself and from there inspiration never ceases. Find this place yourself, and you’ll discover writer’s block is a myth. Once I found it—and learned to connect to it at will—the idea and plotting stage of a novel evolved into my favorite part of writing process.

The spiritual nature of my writing will more than likely be the undercurrent of future blogs as it’s what keeps me tethered to the craft of writing and storytelling. No matter how many times I sit down to write, the very place from where ideas come from never fails to both amaze me and humble me. In my next blog I’ll discuss what point of view I selected for Sunrise, why I selected it and the challenges that it’s giving me. This is one of the most important decisions to make when starting a novel as it’s the point of view that ties the whole story together.